It’s that time of year again – time for colleagues to gather in office conference rooms, drink a little punch, and maybe swap tactfully dull gifts. And that got me thinking – what would sociology’s theorists bring to a holiday gift exchange?
Here’s what I’d guess:
Karl Marx: bacon from a pig he raised and slaughtered and then butchered and cured in his backyard
Max Weber: a framed print of the first corporate org chart
Talcott Parsons: cash
C. Wright Mills: a “We Are the 99%” t-shirt
Emile Durkheim: refuses to participate, insisting that compulsory gift swaps constitute excessive social regulation
Harold Garfinkel: a box of Valentine’s chocolates
Erving Goffman: an original script from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Pierre Bourdieu: tickets to Hamilton (which everyone fawns over)
W.E.B. DuBois: tickets to Hamilton (which everyone dismisses as obvious and passe)
Jane Addams: a pussy hat and a kickstarter giftcard
Dorothy Smith: store-bought baked goods, and the knowledge that most of the men had their wives buy and/or wrap their gifts
Patricia Hill Collins: a “Cite Black Women” t-shirt, and the knowledge that whatever gift she brings, everyone will underestimate its value
bell hooks: a first edition of Ironheart #1, signed by Eve Ewing – because we could all use a little hope this year.