holiday office party: soc theory edition

It’s that time of year again – time for colleagues to gather in office conference rooms, drink a little punch, and maybe swap tactfully dull gifts. And that got me thinking – what would sociology’s theorists bring to a holiday gift exchange?

Here’s what I’d guess:

Karl Marx: bacon from a pig he raised and slaughtered and then butchered and cured in his backyard

Max Weber: a framed print of the first corporate org chart

Talcott Parsons: cash

C. Wright Mills: a “We Are the 99%” t-shirt

Emile Durkheim: refuses to participate, insisting that compulsory gift swaps constitute excessive social regulation

Harold Garfinkel: a box of Valentine’s chocolates

Erving Goffman: an original script from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Pierre Bourdieu: tickets to Hamilton (which everyone fawns over)

W.E.B. DuBois: tickets to Hamilton (which everyone dismisses as obvious and passe)

Jane Addams: a pussy hat and a kickstarter giftcard

Dorothy Smith: store-bought baked goods, and the knowledge that most of the men had their wives buy and/or wrap their gifts

Patricia Hill Collins: a “Cite Black Women” t-shirt, and the knowledge that whatever gift she brings, everyone will underestimate its value

bell hooks: a first edition of Ironheart #1, signed by Eve Ewing – because we could all use a little hope this year.

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