i want to be the renowned hoo-ha doctor

As Tom Bozzo says, The Onion is a priceless national treasure.

Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize For Medical Advancements Down There
STOCKHOLM—In recognition of her groundbreaking work treating life- threatening diseases of the privates, renowned hoo-ha specialist Dr. Victoria Lazoff was awarded the Nobel Prize in Lady Medicine this week.

The world’s foremost authority on ailments down south, Lazoff led a team of cutting-edge hoo-ha doctors to develop new strategies for detecting abnormal growth in…you know, that area. The accomplished physician humbly accepted medicine’s highest honor before a crowd of her peers, and spoke about the importance of regular screenings to prevent unnecessary complications up inside one’s business.

Every year, when I teach Sociology of Sexualities, I ask the women students what words they were taught as kids for their vulvas. My faves so far: coochie, kitty, twinkle, and–I kid you not–front bum.

3 thoughts on “i want to be the renowned hoo-ha doctor”

  1. So funny, thanks for sharing!

    You’ve reminded me of two of my favorite teaching moments. 1. Discussing Gayle Rubin’s article “Thinking Sex,” a timid student raised her hand and asked “What’s vanilla mean?” 2. Discussing representations of gender/race/sexuality in music videos, a student commented that she was unimpressed with Lil Kim’s attempts at being provocative by singing about oral sex, and stated, “So what? Head has been given for thousands of years.”


  2. My mom calls the vulva a “hiney” (I have no idea if I’m even spelling that right) which frustrates me to no end because (a) is vulva really that bad a word? and (b) the hiney is the BUTTOCKS for crying out loud! Let’s not confuse the poor girl.


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