the gift for the person who has everything

You do not want to read the rest of this post. No, really, you don’t. I’ve provided it for you not to read so that you can forever enjoy the pleasure of a mystery. You will lose this pleasure if you read the post. That is not satisfying. This post is not like Candyboots. Okay, it’s a little like Candyboots. Do not say I did not warn you. What is beneath the fold, I present with minimal additional commentary. Yes, it is an actual product.


Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

by Fotie Photenhauer


Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!

And the truly fascinating part? Apparently this is more popular than I had ever imagined:



As a side note to the people who gave me the keys to Scatterplot: You DID say you wanted posts that weren't serious.

9 thoughts on “the gift for the person who has everything”

  1. Ugh. Note to self: when Drek says “don’t read this,” don’t read it.
    I’m not even sure why it grosses me out so badly. I mean it’s a fairly common joke taken to it’s obvious extreme. But just looking at the picture on the cover makes me queasy.


  2. Great. He tells people here NOT to read it, then he links to it at his home blog and says, “If you read only one of my Scatterplot posts all year…”

    Good thing today isn’t, like, a holiday involving a lot of food or something like that.


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