adventures in singledom

Do (did) you ever have that experience where you come home from having met someone, close the door, lock it, and think to yourself, “thank God I don’t have to go home to that every day! I love living alone.”* Yeah. So one of the nice things about being single in a major city is that not everyone treats you like there must be something wrong with you. In my life I’ve have had more experiences than I can recall where a combination of pity, concern, head-shaking, scorn and smugness are directed at me for being single. I’m going to put it out there: I like being single. This doesn’t mean that I never want to date, or even have long-term relationships. Yet nor does it mean that no one can stand me. Or that I’m self-loathing, damaged, disturbed, or depressed. I actually sustain far more relationships than many of my coupled friends. And oh how the thought of my empty apartment brings me comfort.

* I am not so arrogant as to think that I haven’t been on the other end of this – where someone couldn’t stand me and was thrilled to go home alone.

8 thoughts on “adventures in singledom”

  1. Uncanny! I had this experience just yesterday! A perfectly lovely new person, but more than an hour or so at a time more than once or twice a fiscal quarter? Yikes!

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  2. I’m struck by the comfort you draw from the empty apartment. Me too (well, mine’s not strictly empty, but empty of humans if not felines). I have colleagues who’ve done some interesting research into ‘solo households’ in Montréal and there was a strong theme of people who have very socially demanding jobs (community organizers, college teachers, etc.) really loving and needing the peace and quiet at home… ahhhh.

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  3. Decades ago, I remember a woman saying, “There are worse things in the world than being single, lonely, and depressed. And the blind date I went out with last night is one of them.” (Are there still “blind dates”? Or is this a quaint and curious custom of forgotten lore, like “long distance” phone calls?)

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  4. Oh, how funny – just last night I had a (bad) dream that I had to move out of my cozy little studio apartment and into this communal co-housing situation!

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