Comments on: adventures in new york

By: tamsynx

tamsynx — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 02:34:21 +0000

It also makes life more fun when you’re not looking at things negatively.

By: shakha

shakha — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 21:47:08 +0000

when it comes to stuff like this, I interpret as charitably as possible. Why? It makes getting my work done easier.

By: jay141

jay141 — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 21:34:14 +0000

“I took it simply that this person felt comfortable with me”

That’s one way of looking at it, but it could also be that he outranks you and says inappropriate things as a result. Given the power dynamic at play, it’s wrong, in my view. It’s not like you can insult him in return without concerns about your job situation.

By: jessica

jessica — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:47:35 +0000

I am blessed with an on-campus hair salon. While my cut might not be as stylish as it was in grad school, it’s worth not taking more than 30 minutes out of my research time - or removing me from the context of campus - to get the job done.

By: shakha

shakha — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:25:56 +0000

You want inappropriate? How about this:

Shamus: My mom is from Ireland my dad from Pakistan.
Person: Really? My mom is from Ireland my dad is from [another unlikely country]
Senior Faculty: Wow! That’s unlikely. [Turns to me] What? Did you mom just get around?

It was a joke, of course. And given my sense of humor, a funny one. But it was strange to hear a joke from a senior person that was basically, “So, is your mom a slut?” I took it simply that this person felt comfortable with me (and as such was a good sign).

By: newsocprof

newsocprof — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:19:34 +0000

You’re so lucky! Some people here dress up — and I mean REALLY dress up (the senior men wear suits and the women are roaring around in high heels and DKNY suits). Not everyone does this, but enough so that you feel goofy in a pair of basic khakis (forget about jeans). Having just recently been a poor grad student, my wardrobe is seriously lacking… I also don’t even own a pair of heels and am not sure I could walk in them if I did.

By: jay141

jay141 — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:19:09 +0000

“that’s more appropriate here as well”

The “more” part makes it an inappropriate comment, in my view.

By: shakha

shakha — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 18:07:05 +0000

I’m pretty sure it’s a gender thing. Also, unlike newsocprof and akphd, I don’t look young. I would guess I look more like I’m 35. And with a beard and a deepish voice, I’m not confronted with the “you’re young” thing very often.

I have gotten comments on my appearance from senior faculty, however. Once I was told that I needed a hair cut (I did). But it was still funny. The other was when i was told I was dressing up too much. In the latter case I was asked, “they don’t dress like this in Wisconsin, do they?” To which I replied, “No; it’s more of a jeans and sweater kind of place.” The response, “That’s what I thought; that’s more appropriate here as well.” I actually appreciated it. I was thinking, “Fancy Ivy League = Dressed Up”. So it was good to know that my jeans and a normal shirt wouldn’t be read negatively. But it also made me realize that people would be noticing what I wore.

By: newsocprof

newsocprof — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 17:58:37 +0000

I never wore makeup in grad school but I wear it every day now too because all of the faculty keep commenting on how I don’t look like a professor and look so young (I’m 30). The other issue is, you can’t wear too much or else you’re not “serious.” It’s a tough balance. Shamus, do you get this too? Is it a gender thing or really a young thing?

I’m also considering a nip/tuck — here in SoCal, they appear to start this at age 14 so I’m way behind the curve. I’ll be in real trouble if I ever have to date again because the competition here is fierce!

By: jay141

jay141 — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 17:15:57 +0000

“I also wonder what would happen to my evals.”

Not sure, but could mean more Valentines!