Comments on: how do you say, “no”?

By: cuteandsmart

cuteandsmart — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 21:44:38 +0000

OW: LOL

You all need a no club with no points. A group of people who give you points for saying no to stuff — they randomly assign points. Refusing to review a manuscript = 1 or 2 points. Refusing to direct a center that the administration won’t fully fund = 12 points.

Points = beer, martinis, and the like.

and, “what would a law degree do” has it right — no is a complete sentence.

By: shakha

shakha — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 15:50:11 +0000

Good point! The only issue is that ISO doesn’t have any power over me. What are they going to do? Put a pick ax to my door when the revolution comes? Yeah, I’ll be sure to be worried about that! But I agree, Nancy and that cute Ahmadi is right. Just say no.

By: wwjdwd

wwjdwd — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 15:32:35 +0000

passing on advice given you by a fellow Ahmadi who said no to getting a login so will not give it to you herself: “all these people are offering solutions that require excuses. Don’t give excuses. Just ‘no’. Nancy had it right. Practice in front of the mirror. Better yet, practice by arguing with the ISO. If you can make no stick with them, you can make no stick with anybody”

By: mondoman

mondoman — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:35:55 +0000

The Woody Allen gag has a grain of truth. Defer as much as you can. If it’s important, it will tend to come up again. I’ve used this technique to curb my book-buying habits by carrying a list around, and not buying unless the book has been there for at least a month or so.

By: sara

sara — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 03:24:17 +0000

It also helps to have people in your life who will cheer you on for responsibly saying “no.” After a particularly important “no,” I emailed a friend to share my accomplishment (because, yes, for me, saying “no” is an accomplishment). He responded:

Awesome! You rock. If I ran a carnival you would get to choose one of the bears from the top row!

I’ve kept this message in my inbox as a sort of touchstone ever since…

Feel free to drop me a line, if you ever need a similar message. After all, there’s more than one bear on the top row!

By: olderwoman

olderwoman — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 03:14:26 +0000

Sorry I can’t help you out with this, I’m afraid I’ve got too many other commitments right now. Maybe on the weekend.

By: jaylivingston

jaylivingston — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 03:12:07 +0000

Woody Allen has a line somewhere about the tribe whose language lacks a word for “no.” Instead, they say things like, “I’ll get back to you . . . .”

(I’m sure it’s funnier in the original, but I’m too lazy to go search for it right now.)

By: shakha

shakha — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 00:19:36 +0000

Yes. I’m coming to dinner. But I’m leaving early because I also said “yes” to another event that runs concurrently. See my problem? I’m seriously booked.

I also said, “yes” to this blog! Which is taking up my time. And I too will be here all night. So you’ve got a friend, Jeremy. Even if he’s 1000 miles away…

By: Peter

Peter — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 00:12:29 +0000

You’re coming to dinner on Friday, aren’t you?

By: jeremy

jeremy — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 00:12:18 +0000

I can’t think through the details at the moment, because I’m caught up trying to dispatch with things I’ve said yes to that will probably keep me here until midnight. But: we should call the endeavor the NOlympics.