I was in San Francisco this weekend for a conference. First night I went with some people for dinner at a great restaurant and the bill worked out to $50/person plus tip. Second night I went with many of the same people to this hole-in-the-wall Vietnamese restaurant that had been recommended. The food was probably 80% as good and we had at least 90% as much fun, but the bill was only $11/person plus tip. We all marveled at what a great deal this was, and surely we would have been content to pay $20/person or more. As it was, I put in $15, as did others. But then the issue arose of starting to give people back money, because, after all, it works out to more than a 30% tip.
I can see the reasoning of taking money back, but I didn’t take any myself. It felt too much like, “Wow! Isn’t it wonderful this place gives you so much food for so cheap? So, now let me punish the server because he works for a restaurant that is such a great bargain!” Even if we would have given the guy a $4/person tip, it would have been less than half the tip we gave the night before.
In any case, I don’t want to sound like I’m above irrationality via the tip system. I’m worst with cab drivers. There are cab drivers out there who have gotten a larger tip from me than they otherwise would by taking a more cumbersome route than they needed to, costing me time in addition to a larger fare, and I reward them by giving an x% tip.
Special bonus appendum for those who followed the jump: In the airport I was sitting across from a guy who had a book titled X-Rated Sudoku. I wanted to ask him what that was about, but of course could not bring myself to do so.
5 Comments
Not quite the same issue, but since you brought this up: I went to dinner last night with a bunch of colleagues (conference in town) and since we split the check evenly (reasonable to do in this situation), I got to pay $70 for the $25 worth of food & drink I consumed.
Regarding cabs, also not quite the same issue, but hopefully related enough.:) Yesterday, I took a cab to downtown Chicago from Evanston. (Jeremy, I mention this partly so you can learn from my mistake.) When I called the company, I asked if there was a flat rate. I was told no. Then when I got in the cab, the driver said “flat rate: $30, okay?” and I just nodded since my mind was elsewhere. Then later thinking about it, I realized that the trip to Evanston from further in downtown Chicago the night before had come to $26.45 so how could a shorter trip for $30 be reasonable? It’s not. I told the cabbie this and he just said that he’d asked me whether I had wanted the trip metered (true). I still don’t think one should have to be on high alert when getting into a cab. I ended up giving him the $30, but tip inclusive (which still came out to a reasonable tip given that the metered cost would’ve been no more than $24). Lesson learned: when a driver offers a flat rate, it’s worth being somewhat suspicious.
I can’t believe people thought the tip was too big and started taking money back. A 30% tip on an $11 tab is $3.30. A 20% tip would be $2.20. For leaving in the $1.10 you get to think of yourself as a generous tipper instead of a cheap bastard. OTOH, what do you think of someone who takes $1.10 back from a struggling Vietnamese waiter?
(I called my blogpost about this “The Point of Tipping.” Same idea, and hard to avoid.)
I wish more people thought so much about tipping!
It’s definitely the tip, not covering the bill, that stresses me out the most when we’re in large groups. It’s the part with the most individual variation. While most people don’t disagree on covering their portion (and are able to figure that out), opinions on tipping are not so widely shared.
I have gotten into fights before with cheap people and tipping. Simply put, they tip a small amount (say, $1 on a $10 meal). I compensate (say, $3 on my $10 meal). Then they look at the tip and think, “That’s too much!” and take out a dollar. All hell breaks loose.
Shamus: If I want to “over-tip”, my choice. You don’t get my money.
Friend: The tip is too much!
Shamus: You left what you wanted. I left what I wanted. There is no “too much”.
Friend: I’m taking a dollar back.
Shamus: You take a dollar and I’ll never talk to you again.
It almost ended the friendship.
I’ve worked as a waiter. I’ve also found that the best indicator of people I’m dating and whether or not I really like them is how well they treat wait-staff.
I’ve had similar experiences, have “overtipped” on purpose and had others take or try to take the money and/or redistribute the money to everyone. It bugs me. I also think we should tip higher for cheaper meals.